2024 Issue

I'm in AGNi: A new standard for AGN pluralisation

Andrew D. Gow, Peter Clark, Dan Rycanowski

We present a new standard acronym for Active Galactic Nuclei, finally settling the argument of AGN vs. AGNs. Our new standard is not only etymologically superior (following the consensus set by SNe), but also boasts other linguistic opportunities, connecting strongly with relevant theology and streamlining descriptions of AGN properties.

Vulcan: Retreading a Tired Hypothesis with the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse

Michael B. Lund

The number of planets in the solar system over the last three centuries has, perhaps surprisingly, been less of a fixed value than one would think it should be. In this paper, we look at the specific case of Vulcan, which was both a planet before Pluto was a planet and discarded from being a planet before Pluto was downgraded. We examine the historical context that led to its discovery in the 19th century, the decades of observations that were taken of it, and its eventual fall from glory. By applying a more modern understanding of astrophysics, we provide multiple mechanisms that may have changed the orbit of Vulcan sufficiently that it would have been outside the footprint of early 20th century searches for it. Finally, we discuss how the April 8, 2024 eclipse provides a renewed opportunity to rediscover this lost planet after more than a century of having been overlooked.

Multi-Messenger Astrology

Gwen Walker, Nick Ekanger, R. Andrew Gustafson, Sean Heston

It has long been accepted that the cosmos determine our personalities, relationships, and even our fate. Unlike our condensed matter colleagues - who regularly use quantum mechanics to determine the healing properties of crystals - astrology techniques have been unchanged since the 19th century. In this paper, we discuss how astrophysical messengers beyond starlight can be used to predict the future and excuse an O(1) fraction of our negative personality traits.

Written in the Stars: How your (pens and) papers decide the fate of the arXiverse

Joanne Tan

We all love the ecstasy that comes with submitting papers to journals or arXiv. Some have described it as yeeting their back-breaking products of labor into the void, wishing they could never deal with them ever again. The very act of yeeting papers onto arXiv contributes to the expansion of the arXiverse; however, we have yet to quantify our contribution to the cause. In this work, I investigate the expansion of the arXiverse using the arXiv astro-ph submission data from 1992 to date. I coin the term “the arXiverse constant”, a0, to quantify the rate of expansion of the arXiverse. I find that astro-ph as a whole has a positive a0, but this does not always hold true for the six subcategories of astro-ph. I then investigate the temporal changes in a0 for the astro-ph subcategories and astro-ph as a whole, from which I infer the fate of the arXiverse. I conclude that our arXiverse is past its peak of expansion and could gradually slow down to a crunch.